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Unkle Munky Pg 144
Unkle Munky is now available, without the ads, here >>> ---- *Artist - Plan B. *Song - Prayin' *Videos prone to removal. ---- Unkle Munky's Unlucky Stars Today Unkle Munky predicts the day ahead for those born under the star sign of Gemini... A silver Vauxhall Astra with private plates will block your driveway. You will spend much of the morning asking complete strangers if they know anything about B1G T1T5. Your court case will take place in October. ---- UK Munky Gold Plus One ---- Munky's Shows His Sensitive Side Lisa from Hartlepool asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I was just wondering if you had ever cried over a film? Unkle Munky replies -''' Dear Lisa, I can confirm that I cried over the film '''‘Snakes on a Plane’ starring Samuel L. Jackson. Ten quid I paid for that pile of shit! The realisation that, for the same price, I could have had a Bucket from my local KFC had me in floods of tears for hours! Inconsolable I was, Lisa… Inconsolable… Lisa shakes her head... ---- Bear Relief Jamie from Stanlow asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Did you receive my query regarding the serving of a court summons on Kylie Minogue for her lewd behaviour at last week’s ‘Bear Relief’ charity concert? Unkle Munky says -''' Dear Jamie, No court in the land will uphold the public indecency charges that you are threatening to file against Ms. Minogue. It’s a microphone, you idiot! *Pictured: Kylie lends a hand at the Bear Relief charity campaign. ''Mary (Munky’s assistant) says - I don’t know so much, Munky. That bear looks awfully happy.'' 'Unkle Munky replies -' Ahem. Disgraceful insinuations! Kylie would never wank a bear off. Not in public anyway! ---- Munky Explains... Geoff from Essex asks - Dear Unkle Munky, When the first dictionary was compiled, how did they know that they’d spelt the words right? 'Unkle Munky scratches his head before saying - '''Er… Well, it wouldn’t have mattered if they’d spelt them wrong, Geoff. After all, no one had a dictionary to check them against. Geoff replies - …Oh yeah. Thanks, Munky. ---- Please Wait... '''Unkle Munky stretches, yawns and then says -' I may have to ponder further on this tomorrow. Ahem. ---- 80's Query Wayne from Market Drayton asks - Dear Unkle Munky, My friends all say that I am stuck in the 80’s. With this in mind I was just wondering if I might be entitled to a rebate on my television license? After all, they were much cheaper back then? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Wayne, I fail to see why your friends would think such a thing. I shall endeavour to investigate your query at a later date as I am currently getting ready to go and see Kajagoogoo live in concert. Wayne (Pictured) replies - Thanks Munky. ---- Hotel, Motel? Trevor from Basingstoke asks - Dear Unkle Munky, What's the difference between a Hotel and a Motel? 'Unkle Munky says -' I don’t know, Trevor, what is the difference between a Hotel and a Motel? Trevor replies - Huh? It’s not a joke, Munky. I really want to know! 'Unkle Munky says -' Oh. Ahem… One begins with ‘H’ and one begins with ’M’? Trevor says - Fuckin’ useless! ---- Bungle's Barely News ---- Memo ''Ms. Motion Sickness (Munky's gothic assistant) asks - Is it ok if my boyfriend leaves some business cards in reception, Munky?''' '''Unkle Munky says -' I don’t see why not, Mary. 'Unkle Munky scratches his head -' ‘What the fuc…’ ---- Next... Previous... Twitter... Shitter... More Munky Here...